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A top is usually a person who engages in the penetrative role during sexual activity for men who have sex with men (msms), this often involves penetration using the penis during anal or oral sex. Top may also describe a broader personal identity involving dominance in a romantic or sexual relationship however, this stipulation is not a requisite element of being a top. A top is a partner who prefers to penetrate his partneras opposed to a bottom, who prefers to be penetrated. Explaining the terms this way, however, is a bit of an oversimplification. These preferences each typically come with preconceived notions about the types of people who fit each onebut whether these ideas ring true matters only to you and your partner. Shes 23, straight and curious how gay guys answer the sex issue of whos the top and whos the bottom. How do you decide when someones going be a top and when someones. Sure, people have a preference, but now could be the perfect time to escape the top or bottom prison you live in. So, with the help of some experts, lets take a moment to dismantle what you. A versatile bottom is someone who is comfortable with a shared dominance in gay relationships. Usually, however, he enjoys being a bottom more than a top, but hes perfectly willing to be the passive partner, the dominant partner, or to switch between the two.